The Yes Man

I hate to admit it, but I think i've become a "yes" man. I hardly say no to anything, I have this succumbing aura that attracts people to ask me questions or favours in which they know the answer, which is "yes" or "yeh sure man, no worries". Its sickening, because it brings a mentality of never being able to move forward with any decision that you make on your own. Its even worse than saying no. Alot worse.

Anyway, i've been stressing out. I feel like my eyes are about to pop out and two mouths will appear from my eyes, then I will scream with all three mouths in unison, possibly screaming in different keys to invoke a rich harmony. I feel like no matter what I do right now, regardless of how productive it is, the list of "to do's" are actually building up exponentially faster than what I can handle. It's like taking steps in quicksand. I also left my guitars and stuff at my friend's house, so I have no way to deal with it than to type it out.

Uni has been good, my friends are making it alot more fun than it should be. Every second of every minute I'm telling myself "Don't worry, this is your last semester, it will all be over soon", even though i'm sure ill miss it, but probably not for long since I may have to continue further studies for career's sake. I feel right now the only thing letting me down is my confidence. That whole rant about being a "Yes" person tends to apply when im being ordered to do something. My own decisions tend to be textbook answers rather than what I feel is morally right. I feel like my judgements are far too open minded, like I don't want to offend anyone, which is never possible. Its now become a habit, where im almost losing my opinions because I accept everything around me so light heartedly. It sounds all happy happy joy joy, but its not trust me. Who knows, I might crack one day and say "I hate Nigerians, they click too much when they talk darghh just talk normally or get a pencil and write it down, but they cant 'cuz the only freakin pencil they had is through their nose which they use against other nigerians with pencils through their nose and have pencil fighting competitions while balancing their body on a tiny length of rope like they do in Nigerian Gladiator"

I cant wait till about the end of next month, all my major assignments will be done and I can chill out. I really wanna toke up again with some friends, or at least get pissed. But at the moment, what i'm craving most of all, is making some good music.

*click*

Welcome Back Kotter!

Hello there!! Well, here it is...my so called "regular" contribution to this blog of mine hahahaha. I cant believe its been almost a year since i've actually bogged something. I sort of forgot about this, until I became really bored and came across this once again. I was looking at all my previous posts....wow....so immature...and its a real pity I haven't grown up one bit.

As most of you know, I went to India with a couple of my mates. It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life. Its hard to interpret the emancipation someone feels when they commit to something as big as going overseas. I'm quite a parent-dependent person financially and emotionally at times, so conforming to some sort of self discipline in order to save up for a trip was quite a feat haha. I could tell you exactly what I did whilst overseas, but that would take way too long. As an alternative, just check out my youtube links with some pics of my trip

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT4AiCkwgiw

and for some small videos I made with the camera

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcZ8_-qz3mM

Other than the trip, everything has been quite timid and unfortunately constructive. I say unfortunate because i'm not a person that can commit to a steady routine. I'm always changing jobs, musical tastes and weight haha, so its ironically an "un-routinely" feeling to be falling into one. I am currently in between a part in my life where i'm growing up and may have to limit my intake of particularities that have made me who I am. Hopefully this wont result in some stubborn stereotype i've fought so hard to not be.

So yeah, I'm at my final semester of uni (hopefully), working 2 days a week at an insurance firm, and reduced my guitar playing to around 1 or 2 days a week due to lack of time. I bought myself a new PC.... i've been addicted to it for the past week. Props to Sunny for doing it up for me. Here are the specs for you n00bs who are interested: Antec Nine Hundred Case; 320 mb 8800 GTS video; e6750 cpu; 22" LCD Chimei 221D monitor; and the rest :D

Music wise, been listening to alot of curry stuff like the soundtrack for awarapan, life in a metro, anwar, the train, also new albums from Adnan Sami and Atif Aslam. Other music includes scar symmetry, new porcupine tree/arch enemy album, heaven shall burn, soilwork, you know, all the good stuff haha. Also, will be going to the Josh Pyke/John Butler concert on Friday 17th, should be great. Also will be going to Gigantour feat. Static X, Devil Driver and Lacuna Coil.

I tend to get this feeling in my stomach that gives me the impression something is wrong, which is quite odd because I have nothing to complain about at the moment. However, my gut feeling is usually spot on so it is quite worrying. Either way, I've got a whole lot of "nothing" on my mind, so it feels good to type it out :)

Take care all,

- Fuzz

PS: Oh yeah, I forgot to say something stupid like I do with all my bogs.....err........b.....boobies? lolz?