Sunday, December 13, 2009

2009 - The Year Of The Rollercoaster

With the end of year approaching in quick silence, im feeling reflective and optimistic about 2010. This year has been an absolute rollercoaster. My emotions have been almost as volatile as the ASX, and almost perfectly correlated, even though there is no connection whatsoever. Hmm, maybe I should invest in the market when im feeling down? LOL...

But in all seriousness, i'ts been a crazy year. It started off with a list of goals that I felt have been regurgitated for the past decade, so the goals had very little ambition. It was the usual stuff that people have.. Drink less, lose weight, find someone special, improve your job status somehow, network more, make more friends, spend more time with family, etc etc. Basically the underlying condition of all of these things is to be happy.

I hadnt been happy for a long time. Years in fact. It was so bad that being solemn and indifferent became a habit, regardless of how happy I felt. Having to overshadow my genuine feelings with a joke exemplified my insecurity. Being different is always hard, being alone makes it harder, and being outcasted makes it impossible.

But its times like these when you learn most about yourself. You realise how strong a person you actually are, how capable you are of picking yourself back up and facing the world. Your differences no longer hold you back but they set you apart, your loneliness brings you independence and your uniqueness makes you strive for success. You learn that life is a work in progress, nothing comes at the click of a finger and that is why the final product is so much more rewarding.

It is today that I can say without hesitation that I am happy. I've learnt so much about myself. While I have changed over the years, my moral compass has always been in tact and it has never failed me. Through my trials and tribulations i've learnt who to keep close and who to maintain comfortable distances with. I've met the love of my life, someone I can confide in to give me strength the same way a deity does for others. I've started a new job that can allow me to prosper in a way based almost purely on my capabilities. I have a loving family that I would die for, I hold my beliefs in silence and I only involve competition with myself, never with others.

I feel different, the winds are changing now and things will only get better.

Look foward to meeting you, 2010.